Three months ago we relocated from Bristol to a small mill-town on the Northern edge of the Peak District, and lovely it is. From our front door we can walk for ten minutes and be in staggeringly beautiful and dramatic countryside. Being nature lovers and dog owners, my wife and I are relishing the change of scene after twenty five years of urban living. We now wake up to the sound of bird song rather than the unintelligible shouts of the crack addicts on our doorstep or the cheery, expletive-laden banter of the lads from the window workshop next door. And we have been sleeping right through the night for the first time in seven years, no longer jarred from sleep by the cacophonous, drunken burblings of students wending their way home at all hours. It is all quite wonderful.

A few weeks into our new life, we took a walk “up the back” along a path known as Doctor’s Gate, an old Roman baggage trail that leads up through farmland and onto the Dark Peak where, in time,  it bisects the Pennine Way and continues down to the Snake Pass. It was midday on Friday February 2nd and it was the first dry, bright day in weeks. We passed Mossy Lea Farm and climbed up the wide track to the barn on the hill, where dry stone walls criss-cross the fields. There were hawks circling, red grouse warbling, sheep bleating. You get the picture. It’s a rural idyll. Following a wooden sign which points the way to “Open Country”, the path leads down and along the serpentine Shelf Brook, which sends water racing down the valley and which once powered the town’s booming mills and factories; mostly gone now or remodelled as flats and retail outlets. After some invigorating walking, negotiating bogs and heather and slippery slopes of stone and peat, we came to a footbridge over the stream. We stopped and admired the scenery. The path continues from there upwards quite steeply onto the next great hill and from thence to the Pennine Way. We agreed that we’d save that for another day and would head back the way we’d come.

The hills above Doctors Gate, seen from the footbridge.

As we were gazing up at the path we weren’t going to take, all at once, and entirely without warning, coming straight towards us over the horizon of the hill, directly above us, was an enormous, silver-coloured aeroplane. It was flying directly towards us and was incredibly close to the ground. Like, really, really close. So close that you felt that if you reached out your hand you would almost be able to touch it. So close, that we thought it was going to crash into the hillside in front of us. Almost instantly, as if it had suddenly seen us and been shocked by our presence, the aircraft turned and banked sharply to the left, pulling up and away from the ground and disappeared over the hill to our right. We both stood, open-mouthed, shocked and surprised by what we’d just seen. “What the hell is that doing there?” I exclaimed. It was so out of place. So extraordinary. So unexpected. And the weird thing was that neither of us recalled hearing its approach, or its departure. Had it been silent? And yet, it clearly had two propellers. It wasn’t a modern plane. It looked like something from the 40s or 50s. A smallish passenger plane that might hop you across to Le Touquet for lunch and back in time for a show at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. The kind of plane that Howard Hughes would fly or Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid would step out of.  It had a row of small windows or portholes above the starboard wing. It had no markings or insignia. It looked like a big, fat, silver cigar. The word Dakota sprang to mind, but only because it was a plane I vaguely knew of thanks to my brother’s nerdy interest in aeroplanes when we were kids.  But it was somehow, Other. And it never reappeared. We waited, expecting to see it rise up above the hill and continue on its flight. But it didn’t. It just disappeared.

We turned back along the path and we both agreed that it was odd. And that, if we had been alone, neither of us would have believed what the other said they had seen. We were both shaken a little, as if we had seen something we couldn’t quite explain. We knew it wasn’t a modern plane flying in or out of Manchester Airport. They do so all the time here. We’re used to seeing them in the skies above us but they are distant, far away, and resolutely large, modern aircraft, bearing the insignia of Easy Jet or whatever other airline they belong to. We didn’t talk about it much more on the way home. What could we say? Once we were inside, pink cheeked and furnished with mugs of tea, I decided to investigate. I checked online to see if the RAF makes training flights in the area. After all, like the Lake District, the Peak District offers vast tracts of uninhabited landscape over which to practice low level flying. Yes, the RAF do fly training flights in the area but only Hercules and Atlas aircraft, both much bigger than the plane we had seen, and with four props a piece. And clearly marked with military insignia, unlike our aeroplane. I looked to see if there had been any vintage airshows in the area. Maybe this plane was on its way to one? Nothing. Then I saw a link. Ghost Planes of Derbyshire. No fucking way. I followed it and a whole load of newspaper articles emerged, local and national, reporting sightings over the years of large, silent, “WW2 type” aircraft in the area. I was staggered. I had no idea that we had moved into an area that some were likening to the Bermuda Triangle of the UK. And it transpired that, perhaps not surprisingly, over the years the Peak District has been the scene of many fatal air crashes and, where we had walked, in particular, was the location of three air disasters between 1939 and 1948, two of which resulted in the deaths of the entire crews. The most famous of these was the crash of the USAF RB29 Superfortress, “Overexposed”, on November 3rd 1948, when 13 American aircrew lost their lives as their reconnaissance aircraft ploughed into Bleaklow in bad weather.

What was obvious from the various articles and websites devoted to these unexplained sightings was that, for every believer, there were many skeptics, often brutal in their denial of such things. It was nonsense, of course, or hysteria, or attention-seeking idiots or alien-loving tree-huggers etc etc. Just a fortnight ago, the RAF were compelled to issue a statement reassuring people that the strange aircraft they had seen flying at speed over Derbyshire were, indeed, theirs – three Hercules aircraft, in fact, flying on training missions at low height.  I have seen Hercules aircraft, growing up as I did near Salisbury Plain, and both my father and brother have flown in them, and what we saw was not a Hercules. Several  local residents have pulled out the “I’ve lived in the area for thirty years and have never seen anything so therefore it’s a load of bollocks” card. Well, I’ve lived in the area for three months and I have seen something, but I don’t exactly know what.

Over the next few weeks I did a little research and read up on the crashes in the area. I took the dog up to the Pennine Way above Doctors Gate to visit the wreckage of the Superfortress, which still lies at the crash site, seventy years on. It has a memorial stone and visitors leave poppies of remembrance for the dead airmen. Strangely, on the day I went looking for the crash site, I couldn’t find it. It’s a little way off the Pennine Way but easy enough to find once you get to a trig point, but I couldn’t find the trig point either. I had an OS map, and I’d read directions from previous visitors but I just couldn’t find it. I knew I was in the right area, and made several attempts to reach the trig point from different angles but then the weather came in, visibility dropped and it remained hidden. We trudged over heather and through peat bogs, stood on stones and recalibrated the angles of approach, but I couldn’t find it and in the end we went home, wet, cold and disappointed. It almost felt like the site didn’t want me to find it. Which, I know, sounds ridiculous.

Two days later, it was a glorious sunny day and Gertie and I set out again, this time from Doctors Gate. We passed over the footbridge with the idea of scrambling up the very steep side of Ashton Clough opposite us to Bleaklow Head, where the trig point is. I had read a report of the second of the three crashes that had happened in the area in 1945 and was particularly interested because, not only did it happen just where we saw our plane, but the aircraft involved was a USAF Douglas Dakota. And again, tragically, the entire crew of seven were killed. Once we were there, the clough looked almost inaccessible and I wasn’t sure that Gertie and I were really up for such an energetic climb. As I was about to turn back, a fell-runner appeared from the bottom of the hill and, whilst he made a fuss of Gertie, we chatted routes for a bit. He said the climb up to the trig point from there wasn’t too bad and that there were styles and paths to follow up the slope and across the moor. And he was gone, up Doctors Gate towards the Pennine Way. So, encouraged and feeling intrepid, we pressed on too, but we went down the hill, across the brook and over a style into the clough, where a stream falls down the steep ravine in waterfalls and boggy pools. The going was tough, whatever that runner had said. It was a near vertical climb of about fifteen minutes over tufty, bumpy grass, sheepshit and rough terrain and both Gertie and I had to stop several times to catch our breath and rest our aching legs. But the reward was spectacular. The peaks opened up before us as we climbed higher and the view went on for miles and miles. It was breathtaking. Literally. I didn’t come across any of the wreckage of the Dakota, even though I have seen pictures of where it lies and we must have been very close. (This was becoming a recurring theme.) Eventually we gained the summit (notwithstanding a mild moment of panic when Gertie disappeared after a startled Mountain Hare) and I clambered up to embrace the elusive trig point, at last. Here it was. I took my phone out to take a photo, as evidence of my success, and it instantly packed in and died. Honestly. You couldn’t make it up. Things round these parts are very shy, it seems. So I set off for the RB29 crash site and there it was. About 100 yards North of the trig, the ground gives way to a gravelly wide path of stones and grit and littered all across it is wreckage, scattered randomly over a huge area. Tiny bits of metal, huge parts of wings, rusting engines and wheel bases, even a large piece of rubber tyre still exists. After seventy years. On a blasted mountain top at 600+ meters above sea level. It is extraordinary. Because it looks as if it has just happened. Or rather, as if an art department has painstakingly recreated the site of an air disaster for a movie. It feels placed. Delicately. As if the weather that must have rained upon it, snowed upon it, howled upon it and blown it from place to place for almost seventy years, has had no effect whatsoever. One large piece of aluminium was so shiny and new looking that I could read the serial number stamped into it as if it had just come off the production line. There was no sign of the inferno that had engulfed the plane and her crew on impact, and which had apparently been so intense that humans and metal alike were melted into strange shapes into the ground. A ragged poppy wreath flapped in the breeze. The atmosphere was quiet. Significant. But sad rather than eerie. It had the feel of a long abandoned base camp at the foot of Everest; a material testament to the aspirations and derring-do of long dead men. I tried once more to get my phone to work. It powered up just long enough for me to take two third rate photographs before it shut down again. I made a silent prayer for the dead Americans and set off for home across the moor.

Ashton Clough

Looking West from Ashton Clough.

To be continued….I have no doubt…

 

 

Surprised and delighted

Posted: November 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

to hear that I’ve made my first shortlist! So forgive me for blowing my own small and poorly tuned trumpet. Parp.

THE STAGE NEWS

Shortlist announced for inaugural Adrian Pagan playwright award
By: Matthew Hemley
03:30pm
Monday, November 11, 2013

London fringe venue the King’s Head Theatre has revealed the shortlist for its inaugural Adrian Pagan playwright award.

Formed by the theatre in memory of stage manager turned playwright Adrian Pagan, the award was set up for theatre professionals “who do not describe themselves as playwrights”. This can include actors, directors and ushers.

The five shortlisted plays are Kitchen Sinking by Gina Gough, Dead Party Animals by Thomas Pickles, Dissolution by Isobel Middleton, My Darling Wife by Isaac Ssebandeke, and The Visitor by Remi Rachuba.

The winning writer will receive £2,000 and see their show produced by the King’s Head at its new writing space, the Hope Theatre, in May next year.

Judges for the award, which will be announced on December 2, include playwright Mark Ravenhill and David Lan, artistic director at the Young Vic.

There. Trumpet blown.

Elizabeth Woodville (1437-92), Queen Consort o...

Elizabeth Woodville (1437-92), Queen Consort of Edward IV of England (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I had been looking forward to the TV adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s Cousins’ War novels, but with increasing trepidation. As the details leaked out – cast, location, trailers – I began to fear the HBO effect and prepared myself for something more akin to Game of Tudors rather than Elizabeth R.

Two things really irked me from the off. The first was the confusion of events – both historical and dramatic – as we were parachuted into a kind of EuropeLite Fairytale Land where dreams and reality almost couldn’t be bothered to compete. As someone who had recently read all the books, even I struggled to recall the series of battles and deaths that led us to the opening gambit: young, beautiful (obvs) Lancastrian widow Elizabeth Grey stakes her future on the random possibility that a complete stranger, who happens to be the new king, will see her, stood beneath a tree, stop and promise to give her back her confiscated lands. For my better half it was all too much, and I soon found myself alone on the sofa with a snoring Staffordshire Bull Terrier and disbelief suspended somewhere between old knicker elastic and those socks that always slip down to your toes inside your wellies.

My second gripe has to be the ridiculous white, bright loveliness of it all! Come on Auntie Beeb! This is 15th century Britain you’re trying to feed us. Where is the dark, stinking, disease-ridden horror of it all? Even Pillars of the Earth managed a bit of that, but here it’s all billowy white gauzes, pale pastel frocks, clean hair and faces – not a pustule or war wound in sight – and sets by Homes and Gardens. Where is the battle-torn, poverty-stricken England created by Henry VI’s increasing inability to govern? Where is the terror of a pernicious civil war? “We shall even wear white roses, if they are out in time” says Lord Rivers as they prepare to turn out and muster for the York king and, by Jove, they did! A lovely bunch of blooms appeared by morning, courtesy of Moyses Stevens no doubt, as did a jolly looking bunch of rustic peasants in attractive shades of pale blue, waving the obligatory pitchfork and smiling gappy grins, implying absolute stupidity and worthlessness. My, how King Edward’s spirits must have soared seeing that fighting force join his troops.

And on the subject of fighting – where was it? Oh, all off screen, of course, as it is apparent that this episode was all about Edward the lover, not the fighter. Amazing that he was able to nip home for a bit of how’s your father (dead, actually – but that seemed neither here nor there) before, during and after a battle that must have been raging somewhere down the road but which we neither saw, heard nor cared about. And in each case he looked pristine, unsoiled, untroubled by either warfare, sweat or, indeed, beard growth. She’s got a good one there, that Elizabeth Woodville.

Things improved marginally when we got to court, wherever that was? Geography appears to be a minor concern in this world. Journeys seem short and easy and everywhere seems within a day’s ride of everywhere else. At last we got a bit of Lancastrian/York rivalry and aristocratic bitching from Warwick and the King’s mother, but looking at George, Duke of Clarence’s dopey face I reckon we’re in for some more nonsense in future episodes. The cast did their best to imbue their characters with integrity and gravitas, often a struggle against the dialogue. Rebecca Ferguson is lovely and you can see her steely potential, but the occasional disclosure of her natural accent made you wish that this was going to be more Scandinavian than it is – more Borgen and less Borgias please. Max Irons is also lovely but a bit too Oxford Blue rather than Yorkist White I felt, and good old Janet McTeer and Bob Pugh, doing as much as they can to keep the drama going, were their usual, comforting presence. I shall be watching next week, of course, and things may improve once we start to see the interlacing of Margaret Beaufort and Anne Neville’s storylines, but I really hope we leave behind the blossom-filled, dairy-milk advert excesses of episode one.

 

 

Yesterday being Easter Sunday and a gloriously sunny day, the wife, dog and I went for a lovely run out in the motor, braving the somewhat winter chill to go topless up the M5 to Tewkesbury. It was the first time we’d had the roof off the MG since the summer and by golly it was fresh! Gertrude is not a natural classic car fan, the wind and cold plays havoc with her ears, so I wrapped her in a blanket and she sulked between my legs looking like a babushka resigned to a pogrom.
By the time we arrived in the car park in Tewkesbury we were all a little chilled and glad to get out and flex our cold muscles and use the loo. We crossed the road and found ourselves in the “Bloody Meadow” – a slightly boggy field beside the abbey, bisected by a little river and, reputedly, the site of the bloodiest slaughter during the 1471 Lancastrian defeat at Tewkesbury. In 2013 Easter dog walkers deposited their little plastic bags of faeces in the council provided bins, teenagers kicked their footballs and rode their bikes across landscaped paths. Five hundred years ago indescribable acts of brutality and desperation were carried out here. Amongst the thousands of dead, a young Prince of Wales cut down and killed, ending the opposing claim to the English throne, allowing the Yorkist clans to mop up the enemy and restate their superiority. Here on this field a young Richard Duke of Gloucester showed his capability again and fought for his brother, the handsome Edward IV. Their other surviving brother, George, also has links with this place as the story goes that, after his execution in the Tower – whether in a butt of Malmsey or no – his body was interred with that of his wife, Isabel Neville, eldest daughter of the old Kingmaker, Warwick – in a vault beneath the abbey. Poor George , guilty of treason perhaps, certainly guilty of vacillating politically and without the wit to cover his own arse; even in death nothing is certain. Are the bones in his tomb actually his? Apparently the jury
(at least there is one this time, unlike at the time of his conviction) is still out. Rumour has it that there are three femurs to be found in his casket, and plans are afoot to exhume him and check his DNA against that of his younger brother, Richard, recently discovered in a Leicester car park. How the world turns and the great events and players of history are reduced to forensic mysteries. Somewhere beneath the wheels of Sunday drivers and the feet of Easter traipsers, the dead hold onto their very real life stories and the River Avon flows on.

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About a week ago I made the somewhat impulsive decision to apply for a sponsored place on the 2013 Clipper Round the World Yacht Race. It wasn’t completely without thought as I have been toying with the idea for several months and had, in fact, pre-registered my interest in the race online after which they sent me a fat glossy brochure detailing all the various requirements, commitments and schedules concerned. I worked out that in all, it was going to cost me about £10k to undertake one leg of the race, with travel and kit costs on top, so I had decided that it was an indulgence I couldn’t – and wouldn’t – afford. I duly recycled the brochure and put the whole idea to the back of my mind. Until I discovered that Gore-Tex are footing the billfor three lucky applicants and so I threw my sou’wester into the ring! To date there are about 160 applicants of varying ages, abilities, nationalities and gender. The majority seem to be thrusty young bucks and does, all with some passion for sailing and most with some experience of doing so. When I filled in my application it was on the spur of the moment and I had no idea then that it would subsequently be viewed by anyone visiting the website! But the first challenge is to win votes so I have had to advertise my ambitions amongst my family and friends and, by now, at least 147 of them have read my application and voted for me. There may well be another 100 who have read it and NOT voted, of course! I feel lightly exposed as I am not usually one to flaunt my desires or fears in public but, I have to say, I am so surprised and gratified by the response that I can only feel chuffed. Of course, selection is a long way off and only 12 will be initially chosen on the basis of votes (but not exclusively) and general application. The final 3 will be selected over the course of a weekend in Southampton in May. But I remain confident and strangely optimistic. The leg I have applied for is the toughest in the whole race – The Southern Ocean and the Roaring Fortie24_1360332765s. (Leg 3 on the map)Both names which strike a chilly sliver of fear in me but which also conjure up historic and dramatic achievement in the lives of sailors across the ages. What an achievement that would be indeed, to conquer the roller coaster of massive seas, freezing temperatures and colossal winds. What a terrifying, dreamlike challenge to fight the fear and the frailty of the human mind, body and spirit and race through the dark, stormy nights of the soul and the sea combined! Most of my family think I’m mad, but are being wonderfully supportive and have been instrumental in drumming up votes.

In the meantime, I have been enjoying(?) a mental roller-coaster of my own, dreaming of lumpy seas and frozen digits, damp under-garments and crashing nausea! As someone who hates big dippers and heights and that yawing feeling of falling, I have opened myself up to all manner of  horrors and terrors, both imagined and real, and yet my anticipation of exhilaration appears to be winning the day. Fingers crossed….

Should anyone who reads this feel compelled to add their vote, please do so at:-

http://www.experience-tour.com/tour/clipper-round-the-world-yacht-race/applicant/1973/

Thank you!

Image  —  Posted: March 29, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Dog language mystery

Posted: March 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

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Why is it, I regularly wonder, that after so many hundreds of thousands of years of domestication, we cannot converse with our dogs? Why, when we can master the complicated nuances of Chinese dialects, Egyptian hieroglyphs and the like can we not share a single word with Fido? Why do we still have to rely on an approximation of understanding  – “Sit, Gertrude” does indeed usually result in Gertrude sitting, but she never replies with “Why?” or “No” or “Why don’t you sit?” even though she is sometimes clearly thinking this? Just one of those niggly questions that won’t go away. I am working on it and long for the day when I will be able to shoot the breeze with my pooch in the English language.